And so I meet yet another young woman on the verge of adulthood, convinced that she is broken.
Tammy (not her real name) believes she has something intrinsically wrong with her. Like a faulty bit of wiring or a broken piece of equipment. This belief took root in her mind almost a decade ago when she was just ten-years-old. And it has been unintentionally and innocently reinforced by many well-meaning but misinformed professionals over the years. They tried helping her deal with her “faulty” makeup. But they overlooked something absolutely fundamental: that there were no faults to start with.
A few years ago, I was misdiagnosed with scarring on my corneas and prescribed strong antibiotic drops for the condition. My eyes and vision rapidly deteriorated to the point where I looked like a bad version of Frankenstein (burst blood vessels, bruising, red and inflamed). This downturn was seen as part of the condition.
It took a very insightful consultant to realise that I was actually highly allergic to the preservatives in the medication – and that my corneas were completely fine! They merely had old scarring from childhood that was healthy and normal. Once this misunderstanding fell away, I discontinued the drops and my eyes fully recovered within three days.
Like my eyes were and are, Tammy is healthy, normal and intact. She deserves to finally see this truth about herself. She is ready to meet her soul.
Tammy’s real ‘damage’ is ten years of being convinced of the false misunderstanding that she is somehow lacking, genetically or otherwise. Of feeling like she is not worthy of the possibility of leading a full life with her own family. How sad and how incorrect that assessment is. At times, the room is illuminated by her health and her quiet insightful way. There is nothing lacking in her – only a true understanding of her psychological and spiritual nature.
I acknowledge my emotion around this subject. I guess it’s because I was once that young woman. And I so clearly see the unintentional yet undeniable failure of our mental health system for people like her and me.
I have no doubt that in years to come we will shudder as we deeply regret the misunderstandings around our ignorance of mental health issues. We have now uncovered the fact that all human beings experience life through the power of Thought, brought to life in the present moment via Consciousness. These invisible elements of Thought and Consciousness account for anything and everything we have felt or will ever feel. Thought is designed to create life for us in a moment in time.
There is nothing that Tammy has experienced that has not been created by Thought. In her mind and the mind of her past helpers (whom, I assume, did not know differently and so were never intentionally misleading her), there are other factors at play. She is biologically “off”, destined to struggle. She will forever be impacted by past trauma (she doesn’t even really believe this one) and be a product of her life circumstance. She is the “victim” of a lousy gene pool (this one she does believe).
All these discriminators can now be seen as false.
In conversation, it becomes apparent that Tammy – like the rest of us – has had many variations of psychological experiences. And as is common with people, she has taken hers to heart in such a way that they have not appeared to be temporary creations of the mind. Rather, they are a mark of something wrong or deep-rooted in her psyche or her life. She has attributed them to outside factors.
And so we hang out. And Tammy has an insight. We speak about the fact that Thought has the inbuilt capacity and constant potential for insight in each and every moment. That there is an intelligence running through the fabric of our thinking. That it is part and parcel of the package of each moment. It is for her. It is for me. It is for everyone. Its implications are that we always have the potential to see and understand more than we have in a previous moment.
Tammy hears this. And she says, “There is a hope stirring inside me. It is a different kind of hope to the hope I have previously encountered. Previously it was something like: ‘I hope this learning will go well. I hope this person will like me.’ It was outside hope. Now I see inside hope. It is hope not connected to any outcome. It is intrinsic in our divine workings. It is intrinsic in me. I too can fall into deeper feeling and deeper knowledge.”
We still have a way to go. It has been engraved in Tammy psyche that she is ‘less-than’ and ‘lacking’. She carries her past suffering in her heart and on her mind like a well-earned badge of shame. Tammy has been convinced she must wear this badge or otherwise be ‘out of touch with herself’, ‘disingenuous’ or ‘in denial’.
But she is learning. And truth is revealing itself to her. It is becoming her new teacher. We hang out together and share the journey of understanding with each other. And as she catches glimpses of herself in the present , free of her past thinking and beliefs, free of her victimised thinking, free of judgement about herself, I catch myself in a moment of silent prayer: for Tammy, for humanity and for myself.
“May we forever keep on waking up to the miracle of our divine nature.”